POTTYSTORIES

FromAnonymous:

Myembarassing story happened almost five years ago and still to this day I haven'tmanaged to forget the memory of it.

Ihad just started to go out with this really goodlooking lad and everythingseemed to be going really well. Around two weeks into the relationship he askedme to come to house to meet his parents. He was from a very well-to-do familyfrom Blackrock in Dublin and his mother had said that I was to call aroung for"high-tea".

Iarrived at the house and I was really nervous but it was all going very well andI really liked his parents. After we had had our tea in the conservatory, Iexcused myself to go and use the bathroom. Anyhow, much to my horror I had thenumber twos!! It was like a nightmare the way it happened, but unfortunately thetoilet wouldn't flush. I was really stuck and I didn't want to embarass myselfby saying anything so I decided the best thing was to scoop out the poo andthrow it out the window. Maybe then if they found it in the garden they wouldthink it was a dog or something like that.

Icomposed myself again and I went down to the conservatory to my boyfriend andhis parents. As I walked into the conservatory everyone was looking at me and Ididn't know why. Then they all looked up to the ceiling and I followed theireyes. When I looked up I saw the poo that I had just thrown out the windowsliding down the glass roof of the conservatory. I ran out of the house and Inever saw that guy again!!

FromAnonymous:

PayBack 4 Dad....

Oneday as my mom, dad and I was driving back from my moms Doctor Appointment my dadsaid he wasn't feeling well. As soon as we got by the drive way he felt theexcrutiating need to fart, and at this time the mail lady that he had a crush onwas by our mailbox. As soon as he leaned out of the car *Blurp* he let a wet onego, as she looked in his direction he was holding his ass cheeks tight andwobbling over to the house when all of a sudden it looked like brown cornchowder with extra corn running down his leg in a massive stream!! As he ran hiscorny ass in the house the mail lady and i was laughing our asses off outside!

FromK:

AtChristmas time I went to my friends house with my girlfriend. Earlier at home Ihad a stomach problem. So I took some pepto and went. We stayed for about 15minutes and all of the sudden my stomach was killing me. So I waited for them toleave the room. Then I tried to fart so nobody could hear me, but unfortunatly Iwas sitting on a plastic chair and not only was it a little too loud, But I sh*tall in my pants. So I ran to the bathroom and wipped it off my leg. When I gotout of the bathroom they smelled my sh*t. So I tied My girlfriends shirt aroundmy waist real quick and left! I wanted To just DIE

FromAnonymous:

onetime when i was in eigth grade, i went to a pool party everyone was going to. iwent shopping to get a new bikini to show off to my crush. it was hot green, andit was really tiny, and it had jellys for padding cause i was really flat. wheni got there i hopped in with everyone else. then i suddenly felt the urge that ihad to fart. well, i farted, but all the people who were in there ran out. wheni looked down, i was surrounded by diarrea and one of my jelly had fallen outand was floating on the top. that was the most embarrising time in my life

FromKP:

WHENI WAS IN THE SEVENTH GRADE, I WAS JUST GETTING USED TO THE WHOLE OVULATINGTHING. I HAD ONLY STARTED MY PERIOD THE SUMMER BEFORE. EVERYTIME I GOT IT, ITGOT A LITTLE HEAVIER. I WAS STILL TO AFRAID TO TRY TAMPONS AND RELIED ON PADS TOGET ME THROUGH. I WAS SITTING IN ENGLISH CLASS AND STOOD UP FOR A MOMENT. MYFRIEND SAID TO ME "YOU HAVE A HUGE RED SPOT ON YOUR SHORTS!" I THOUGHTSHE WAS KIDDING AND TO PROVE HER WRONG I STOOD UP AND TURNED TO THE BOY I HADBEEN CRUSHING ON ALL YEAR, BENT OVER AND SAID "ANYTHING THERE?" TO MYHORRIBLE SUPRISE HE CONFIRMED THAT YES INDEED MY PAD HAD LEAKED. I WASMORTIFIED. I HAD TO GO TO THE NURSE AND IN ORDER TO DO SO, I HAD TO GET UPINFRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS. I TRIED TO PULL MY SHIRT OVER MY BUTT AND WALKED OUTOF THE ROOM. THAT BOY NEVER LOOKED AT ME AGAIN AND FOR THE REST OF THE YEAREVERYONE CALLED ME LEAK!

FromAmazed:

WellI was in eighth grade and it was that time of the month. I was in the band roomand the bell rang to go to the next class. I stood up and I felt you know whatgush out of me. I asked my best friend Mary, if there was anything on my pants,and she said only a little speck that you couldn't notice. Well I went to thebathroom, and it was a lot more than a little speck. It had covered the butt ofmy jeans (my shirt was luckily covering it). I was so embarrased.

FromN/J:

onetime i was at a seattle resaraunt with my sister and my grandma who came up tovisit us from california. well after we started home, i had to pee really badbut i decided that i could wait until we got home. bad idea. i had to go so bad,i sat sat in someones front yard and peed in it in grass in front of everyone. iwas so embarssed!

FromT:

Iwent to an all girls school, which ment you had to where one of those littlekilts. So one day after school I go to meet my brother at the mall. I told himthat I would meet him at the food court. Well the mall was pretty packed thatday, with everyone doing there christmas shopping. I couldn,t see my brotheryet, and went to use the bathroom. When I came out I walked around looking forhim but no luck. While standing there waiting for him to come an older lady60-70 came up to me. She said,"Excuse me young lady but your kilt seem tobe caught in your tights."

Ijust wanted to die, I ran to the bathroom and stayed there for half an hour. Ifinely went down found my brother and told him I was going home.

SEXSTORIES

FromSwallowgirl:

Agroup of co-wokers and myself all went to an ammusment park for the day. At theend of the day, we were all really hot so we decided to get a shower and meet atRed Lobster for diner. I spit the tail of my shrimp out because I accidentallyate it. Well we were all laughing and joking around, when a co-worker of my(which I had a huge crush on) asked me if I spit? I yelled, "I don't spit,I swallow!!!!!" Everyone in the restaurant stopped eating and looked at me,the guys at the table behind us dropped their silverware on the floor! I was soembarrassed, luckily everyone was laughing and my crush asked me if I wanted toride home with him!!!!! Unfortunately he was joking! We had a great time thatnight, even though we are only friends, I wouldn't want it any other way. I amstill getting teased about that night by everyone at the office!!!!!!!

FromSB:

Oneday when I was 15, I was sitting at home bored out of my mind. I decided to gointo my room and pull out the old nudey mag. With hormones ragging I could'thelp myself, It was time to jerk one off. Only about half way into it my mombarges in to tell me dinners ready. So there I am, bare ass naked, on the floor,nudey mag in one hand, my cock in the other.

Letme tell ya sitting across from my mother at that dinner table after she justcought me spanking my munkey wasn't even the worst of it. That night I had abasketball game two hours away and she had to drive me there. I don't think wesaid a word. That was the most embarassing time in my life.

Fromthat day on before my mother ever entered my room she'd knock first and ask if Iwas decent.

FromBostonguy:

Iwas on Spring Break with a bunch of my buddies in Panama City Beach, Florida. Wehad rented a very spacious room that included an outdoor Jacuzzi. Well, I couldnot wait until nightfall to hit the bars and check out the scenery for women.After a few pitchers of beer I decided to make my move. I starting hitting itoff with this chick and I could tell that she was think the same think as me. SoI suggested that we take dip in the Jacuzzi at my place. As we were walking backeveryone driving and walking buy just had make comments on "ourplans." It was the longest walk of my life. The plan was to get her excitedthen take her into my room later. This girl could not wait. We started doingright there in the Jacuzzi. We started to really get into when suddenly aSecurity guard comes out of nowhere and asked me for my hotel ID. Mind you weare both completely naked and the "ID" is fastened on my ankle with anelastic band. He checked the ID and kept walking.

FromCricket:

Iwas moving from Florida to Michigan. My boyfriend and I liked to experiment, soI had collected a large array of "toys" and such. I didn't realize it,but my brother was carrying out the box that they were in when one of thevibrators turned on. I looked out the window to see my brother digging throughthe box trying to find it and turn it off. He came back in with a smirk on hisface and never said a word.

dockirbywrites:

Yearsago I used to drive truck over the road. The company I worked for used teams andone time we had an overnight layover in the Houston area. We scoped out the areawhere we had to pick up in the morning and it was just outside the city limits,so we found a nice rural motel nearby where there was enough room to park therig. It conveniently had a bar right next door.

Wehad a nice relaxed dinner and then decided to head on over to the bar for a fewbeers. It was a pretty slow evening, but they had a table and my partner and Iplayed pool for a couple of hours. It was decided that my partner would do thepick up in the morning and drive the first leg of the delivery, so he decided toturn in while I stayed and tipped a few more.

Itwas getting fairly late and just as I was seriously considering turning inmyself this nice looking lady walked in. She sat a few stools away from me andwe began to make small talk. I bought a couple of rounds and feeling no pain orshame made a play. She made her own play back and we decided to retire to thesleeper.

Iremember it being a particularly dark evening and the truck being parked in anunlit area. Once we were in the sleeper, it took no time at all to get the bothof us naked and we enjoyed some very free, ribald, no-holds-barred sex. We spenta couple of hours enjoying each other's company and then she decided she had togo home. I took her number and bid her a fond audue and decided that, ratherthan disturb my partner in the room, I would just spend the rest of the night inthe sleeper of the truck.

Inthe morning my partner did exactly what he was supposed to, made it over to pickup the load and headed out on the road pointed toward Los Angeles. About an hourdown the trail I realized we were rolling down the road. I woke up enough topull on my trousers, unzipped the curtain and slid out into the buddy seat. Wewere joking and yucking it up about the night before when I leaned over to catcha glimpse of myself in the rear-view mirror. Without knowing it, I had caked,dried blood on my face that started somewhere around my eyebrows and ended undermy chin. The girl that had picked me up the night before had been bleeding likethe proverbial stuck-pig and I never realized it! I had to use my handkerchiefand copious amounts of spit to clean up enough to go into the next truck stop toget a shower. It should be unnecessary to say that it took me a while to livethat one down.

Twostories from SG:

Ilived on the third floor of a really exclusive condo in Dallas, Texas. I hadthis incredible hand carved Italian wooden bed with the mirror above it. Therewas this large window right behind my bed. It was around 10 in the morning and Iwoke up after a late night of partying the night before. O.K., how do I saythis? I woke up horney because my boyfriend had left without "doing what heshoulda" the night before. Anyway, I was using my vibrator and "takingcare of business", when I heard someone right behind me say "Do yousee what I see?" I looked up into the mirror over the bed to see thereflection of the window washers right behind my head. I figured stoppingwouldn't ease my embarrasment any, so I finished up. This was one of the twomost embarrasing moments in my life.

AND

Mygirlfriends gave me a gag gift party and one of the gifts was an 18 inchvibrator that was so big it looked like you should kick start it. We laughed andI put it away and never thought about it again.

Monthslater, I flew up to Colorado Springs to pick up my Corvette from the house anddrive it back to Dallas. I thought I would get a head start on moving, so Ithrough a couple of small boxes behind the seat in my car. I was driving downthe road on the interstate, when I heard this strange sound coming from the car.Since this was a new car, I was really concerned so I pulled over beside theroad. When I turned the motor off, I still heard the sound. I was looking aroundwhen a state trooper pulled up. I told him the problem and he started looking inthe car, while I was looking in the front. All of a sudden, he said,"Ma'am, I - uh, I think I found your problem." I turned around andlooked at him to see him standing there biting the sides of his mouth to keepfrom laughing and holding up this 18 inch vibrating plastic penis. I wanted todie! All I could think to do was grab it, throw it in the back, get in the car,say "thank you" and drive off. I looked in my rear view mirror to seehim holding his stomach, bent over, and laughing his ass off. I bet he stilltells that story to this day. .. I know I do.

From3eb_lover:

Iwas riding home from school on the bus one day, and me and one of my friends,George, were joking around. Another friend, Jessica, said something. I thoughtshe said "Who's really crazy?" I yelled "Me!" just to befunny. It turns out she actually said, "Who wants to sleep withGeorge?" What's worse is that he already knew i liked him. I wanted to DIE.

MISCELLANEOUSSTORIES

FromSlick:

Myhusband and I went to Branson Missouri on our Honeymoon. It was summer time, andso naturally we had on summer clothes! Well me,I was wearing a short summerdress. It was hot out that day, so we decided to stop and get a lemonade todrink! We got in line and were standing there waiting to get our drink, when aolder man came up to me and said " Miss, there were some younger kids thatwalked behind you and lifted your dress up and it is still up!!" Theclincher to the story is that I had thong underwear on! But hey at least theyweren't granny underwear!!!

FromCAL:

THISSTORY IS PRETTY FUNNY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE A BIT OF HAIRLOSS, LIKE MYSELF AND FORMY FRIENDS WHO KNOW ME THEY CRACK-UP. I WAS WALKING THROUGH A JAM-PACKED THRONGOF PEOPLE TOSSING DOWN SOME LIQUER, WETTING MY MOUTH A LITTLE. WHAT A GREAT TIMEI WAS HAVING BEFORE SOMEONE FOLLOWING BEHIND STARTS YELLING HEY PAULY! HEY PAULY!

ITURNED BACK JUST ABOUT TO KNOCK HIM OUT BEFORE ASKING WHAT HE SAID, " I WASCALLING FOR MY FRIEND PAULY". I TURNED FORWARD, DISMISSED THE INTERRUPTIONAND CONTINUED TO ENJOY THE DELIGHT OF THE NIGHT. I LATER ANSWERED THE QUESTIONEDTHAT PONDERED UNDER MY FRIENDS THINKING CAP. "WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO SAY TOTHAT PATRON". WELL, I THOUGHT HE WAS CALLING FOR ME. I THOUGHT HE WASYELLING HEY BALDY! HEY BALDY! YOU KNOW YOU BARE HEAD! I DO NOT THINK HE PUTTWO-&-TWO TOGETHER HE WAS JUST HAPPY TO SEE PAULY........

FromAnonymous:

Meand my friend were all hanging out at the public pool and at the pool there'sthis slide and my crush was there. So me and my friend went down the slide in atrain and I guess my bathing suit(binkie top) got caught and ripped off on theslide and also my crush comes up and hands me my top and said nice show.

FromR:

Everysingle class in elementary school has a girl that every little boy is in lovewith. The boys will do anything for her. I was the fat kid in school (the onethat wears corduroy and his legs catch on fire from the friction, thats was me)One day at recess I was on the weings doing the game that is really stupid ofseeing how high you could and then jump off going for distance, to impress thegirl or girls that were watching, or a broken bone whatever came first. I wasridiculously high on the swing and my little plump body would add the extra umphI needed to go that extra five feet when I jumped off. I jumped but I didn't goanywhere but strait down. My pants were caught on the swing. I was no longer inmy pants that were in two pieces at this point and that girl that everyone has acrush on was standing there looking at my E.T. underoos. We went through highschool and three years of college and now I'm dating that girl that everyone hada crush on who would have guessed.

FromAnonymous:

iwas in disney world FL. i wanted to go on this rollercoaster ride which was heldon the first floor of the biulding. the only way up was by a lift. i wentdirectly to the lift and started to push the button. a gaurd came up to me andsaid " young lady what are you doin?" "i want to go on that ridewhich is upstairs". i noticed the guard was literally laughing but he waskinda countrolling him self.

hesaid "well! you have to stand in that line to go for this ride". theni notice how mant people were starring at me and stupidly i said "this istheline?"and that gaurd said "sure it is". then all the people started to laughat me so loud that i never went for that ride. i was so embarrassed.